You can do it, Naomi! You're...
ONLY 10 EASY STEPS AWAY FROM OSCAR!
1.) Bankrupt small, independent distributor via massive Oscar campaign. Failing that, proceed to...
2.) Cash in King Kong residual checks to pay for FYC advertisements from Kinko's.
3.) To avoid getting sent straight to VOD, attach entire film as a "trailer" to another film people actually want to see. And then...
4.) Try to do it Lahti-style and win Academy Award for Best Short Film.
5.) Avoid telling a story that everyone already knows by adding exciting details and/or gratuitous editing.
6. Carefully and patiently weather the wrath of film critics/the royal family/the tabloids/Diana-maniacs for trying to add said details. (Good luck!)
7. Find all of the boxes with "August: Osage County" screeners and slip in self-made cam bootleg from premiere screening at Lowes...the hardware store.
(Not Loews, the movie theater -- too expensive!)
8. Trick octogenarian Oscar voters into thinking that you are, in fact, a real princess. (Hey, it worked on Eva Marie Saint!)
9. On Oscar night, have camera crews come to Nicole's house, Joan Crawford-style, so you can win and keep your day job.
"I shall immediately after I'm done watching Homeland." - DirkDiggler on his voting priorities
LMFAO that's priceless.
Roger Ebert HATED Les Miserables: "My taste is only personal, but it's all I have. Looking at the nine films nominated for Best Picture, I find only one that I flatly don't believe was a good film, the near-unbearable "Les Miserables." Victor Hugo's superbly entertaining novel has been transformed into a lumbering musical of dirges that rise and fall, with the occasional relief of a little rinky-dink tune. Not only do you fail to come out humming the songs, you almost don't realize they are songs. Hugo's set piece about the escape through the sewers of Paris is one of the great passages in fiction, and although the film indeed shows it, it doesn't bring it to life.
A small hip fracture prevented me from reviewing "Les Mis" on its opening date. Now I suppose I'll do my duty and write a review. That elephantine film aside, this year's list is a good one."
Get ready for his review.
This is like 1.5 stars territory. bye bye metascore
So, a friend of mine, both of us fans of the musical and now of the film version, posted this on her Facebook wall, after seeing the film:
Les Miserables: Anne Hathaway is on my list of actresses who I want to look like. Hugh Jackman is on my list of actors with whom I want to get married and have children. Russell Crowe is not in any of my lists.
Poor Russell x)
at least Ebert has read the book.... points for that.
but if an entertainment writer billed as a critic hasn't made the effort to see a few dozen live musical (and dramas) and listen repeatedly to the basic catalog of cast albums, that writer does not deserve to call himself a critic.
I'm an architect, and consider direct experience with film, stage, the agreed upon great paintings, sculpture, prints, architecture, landscapes, urban spaces, concert music, interiors, opera, fashion... etc to be obligatory cultural competence for practice.
I can't take Ebert seriously about anything if film is all he knows. If he hates the film, fine, he is the expert on his own tastes, no quarrel. But he claims to love the book..... the music interacts with the book in artistic ways that do not depend on ones opinion of the overall work. He is welcome to grade the film as he wishes, but there is no cultivated intelligence in his review.
C'est pas notre faute. It's not our fault.