‘Madame Web’ Review: She Shoots but She Doesn’t Score

The month of February is not particularly known for the top echelon of studio releases and is usually reserved for more of the light, fun, and quirky films of the year. Some you’ll never think about again, while others may stay with you throughout the year. Or maybe Sony will try to hook us with a supposed standalone Spider-Man story that you can enjoy without having watched all of the previous films and television shows, only to end up feeling like they’re throwing things at the Marvel wall to see what sticks. Sorry to say, Madame Web will not.

Spider-Man has been a staple across animation and film for decades. Heck, we’re already on our third iteration of Spider-Man Sony reboots (not even counting the Spider-Verse universe) since the 2000s. Madame Web opens with *gasp* an origin story of sorts, if you can even call it that. It’s 1972, and Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé) and Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) are in the Peruvian jungle looking for a familiar radioactive spider said to have healing powers. Webb is pregnant and determined to find this spider that is said to be a cure and give humans superhuman strength. If that’s not vague enough and clinging to the idea that you know previous Spider-Man films, get ready for even more fluff. In a not-so-surprising turn, Sims, who has funded this fun expedition, reveals his true intent when the spider is found, and shoots everyone, including Constance. She is left for dead and is rescued by the indigenous Las Aranas, who give her the power of the spider but only enough to save her baby, who will undoubtedly have some powers and will “come back searching for answers.” Directed by S.J. Clarkson (Anatomy of a Scandal), the film gets off to a literal shaky start with cheap-looking VFX and odd zoom camera angles that don’t add anything to the sequence except make you feel disoriented and not in a good way. 

The film jumps forward to 2003 and introduces Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson), a paramedic in Manhattan who has a chip on her shoulder because of her childhood upbringing in foster care. She’s tough and funny, and her EMT partner just so happens to have a familiar name, Ben Parker (Adam Scott). While they are in the middle of saving someone’s life, Webb gets stuck in the car that tips over the bridge and into the river. It is in this moment of dying that Webb’s spidey senses are unlocked. These aren’t the normal spidey senses, though. It’s more of a Final Destination premonition of future-telling power. Webb begins to experience disorientation after Parker saves her life and even goes to a doctor to tell her to “go watch some TV” and that she’s a-okay. If that all sounds a bit hokey, it’s because it is, and Madame Web never fully finds its webbing or place. 

It’s hard to even place where Madame Web is set. We know it’s 2003, and with the exception of a few wannabe needle drops like Britney Spears’ “Toxic” playing in a diner, there’s no sense of time in this world or texture or world-building. Cassie lives in Manhattan, but her apartment doesn’t feel like something she could afford on a paramedic’s salary. It doesn’t feel gritty or lived in, and it’s much like the rest of the film; it all feels like a set piece. There are no layers to the world, and it feels staged, hollow, and lacking depth. 

Madame Web spins the idea that Cassie is tough, a loner, and has a tough time connecting to others because of her foster child upbringing and not having a mom. During her grief of the loss of her coworker and the revelation that maybe she could have saved him, Cassie decides to head to the funeral in an attempt to possibly turn back time or be there for her friend’s wife? On the subway, she sees the immediate future death of three teenage girls, Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Corazon (Isabela Merced), and Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor) and is faced with a choice: embrace this power and save these girls or ignore it and do nothing. This decision is meant to be a turning point for Cassie and while she does end up saving the girls, she begrudgingly does so and spends a good chunk of story time telling them why they are so lucky she did. It feels whiny and confusing given the line of work is saving and helping people. 

The strength of Madame Web lies in the supporting cast of these three including the dynamic between Sweeney, Franklin and Corazon and Johnson. Even through the awkward “tough love” storyline that Johnson is given to hone in the idea that “she doesn’t care” and will dump these cares when she gets the chance, they all have a fun chemistry that shines even through the lackluster material they are given to play with. 

We aren’t served a proper “training or powers” montage, Cassie learns of her powers through a few disorienting premonitions and one fatal one where she could’ve saved her fellow coworker had she known what was going on. We’re also meant to believe that the journal that her mom had on her expedition was saved and passed along to Cassie, who clearly never really read it. If your mom, who died in childbirth, left one thing to you, you wouldn’t dissect that whole thing front to back? From a story standpoint, it seems silly that the only time Cassie really deep-dives into this one very personal thing of her mother’s wasn’t until she started having these powers and finding the link between her and Sims. 

Clarkson is no stranger to the superhero genre having directed two episodes of Marvel’s Jessica Jones. Not sure whether it’s Clarkson’s extensive directing of television background, a low budget or both, but there are plenty of awkward and abrupt edits that impacted the scope of the film. There is a lot of tell and no show which is more of an old television tactic – when Cassie decides to go back to the Peruvian jungle to find answers and follows her mother’s journal, she enlists Ben to look after the three girls. We see Cassie drive off in the stolen taxi cab and whoosh she’s in Peru in the Amazon at the exact spot her mother was. The Amazon is a huge area of rainforest and we’re expected to believe that Cassie flew right in. Not to get bogged down by these kinds of details but they are the things that ground a film and or in this case, keep it fluffy. 

Now, let’s talk about the villain in the room and the continuing problem of less-than-stellar Marvel antagonists in recent films. Can they never really get back to a Killmonger-esque level of complexity with these baddies or at the bare minimum give a reason for their actions. Madame Web does neither. The only explanation we are given for Sims’ mission to kill Julia, Anya and Mattie is a scene between Sims and a very underutilized Jill Hennessy, who, after picking her up from the opera sleep together, he is awakened by a nightmare of three women in superhero garb trying to kill him. Hennessy’s character, billed as ‘Beautiful Woman’, asks him what’s wrong? He then describes his dream and the pursuit of needing to find these girls before they grow up to kill him. It just so happens that Hennessy’s character works for the NSA that has CCTV-like technology and can be used to track and find faces through the use of cameras throughout the world. Sims kills Hennessy’s character and gains access to the NSA technology and uses his employee Amaria (Zosia Mamet) to locate the girls via the images he’s drawn from his dream of these girls.

Why does he want this power? Why is he hell-bent on staying alive? World domination? No, it’s nothing that complex. It’s just this guy we see at the beginning of the film wanting a spider for no real purpose at all. The story feels all too lazy with these characters and their motivations. The film tries to bond Cassie, Julia, Anya and Mattie via their absentee parents, whether that be rich parents who didn’t want a child, a mother who went crazy after her husband divorced her, or a father getting deported. This should feel impactful and bond them to Cassie, who was left alone herself, but the writing never lends itself to fully forming the connective emotional webs between these characters and feels forced. 

Origin stories and stand alone films in the super hero world can be fun and quirky (looking at you, Venom) but Madame Web is neither. It’s holding on to the Spider-Man lore of the past while not offering anything new, no spectacular fight sequences, no motivations or world building to look forward to with a sequel – it’s all very confusing. Yes, Madame Web very much stands on its own, but what it stands on is just as structurally unsound as the fireworks storage facility at the end of the film. While superhero films are built on suspension of disbelief, Madame Web doesn’t even want to give the audience enough credit to be worthy of its own world-building or characters. The lack of unique production design, soundtrack, and unpolished VFX makes Madame Web feel more like Madame, why? 

Grade: C-

Sony Pictures and Marvel Studios will release Madame Web only in theaters on February 14.