‘Argylle’ Review: Matthew Vaughn Hacks Up a Furball in Overcomplicated Spy Thriller

Every year, at least one film is ruined by its trailer. Not that its entire plot is revealed (there are plenty of those), but in the sense that it’s shown for so many months that the audience grows tired of it by the time it actually is released. Argylle certainly falls into this category, as we’ve been bombarded with seeing that gray cat and Henry Cavill’s worst hairstyle for months. Fortunately, in this case, the trailer-exhaustion might prevent people from seeing this mess of a film. 

Director Matthew Vaughn’s track record as the creative force behind the Kingsman movies would suggest that there was a lot of potential for his new spy action comedy. Sadly, Argylle is not able to deliver in the same way as it struggles tonally and can’t sustain the fun factor for its full two-hour and twenty-minute runtime. Perhaps it’s due to Jason Fuchs’ script, which crams in so many twists and turns that the audience no longer cares if a character is good or bad. 

The movie’s premise is thus: Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a spy novelist attempting to finish the fifth book in her popular Argylle series. On a train ride to visit her parents, she’s accosted by an actual spy, Aidan (Sam Rockwell), who has come to save her from the evil special intelligence agency that is hunting her. Her novels have come too close to the truth, and they believe she could expose their actual corruption, or manifest their downfall with her fictional characters. So anxiety-ridden writer Elly, alongside her beloved cat Alfie in his little backpack carrier, is thrust into the action of a spy adventure. 

The first section of the movie is rather entertaining. It’s nice to see Howard in the spotlight again, even though the movie doesn’t fully know how to use her talents. In earlier parts of the movie where she portrays Elly’s struggles with anxiety and her reluctance to get involved with actual espionage, she shines. But just when it seems like we’re going to get to see her kick ass as an action star, the movie takes a turn for the absurd. We get a few decent combat scenes out of her, but the ice skating bit (which defies all logic of how ice skating actually works) really makes it hard to stay on board with her character. 

The back and forth between the ‘real’ world and the world of Elly’s novels is quite fun for a while. Watching the action of her books spring forth – starring Henry Cavill as her titular spy, alongside Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, and John Cena – is a fun and campy contrast with the action of the movie itself with some clever transitions. However, as the film goes on, the action in the real world gets more ridiculous, culminating in a strange dance-battle sequence between Cavill and Lipa (a battle staged as a dance, not an actual dance battle which would have been more fun). The characters’ motivations get increasingly convoluted, as it feels like writer Fuchs is too impressed with his plot twists to ensure that they still make sense. There’s also a choice made by Elly about halfway through the film that completely ruined her character’s likability and made me stop caring what happened to her (and yes, it involves the cat). I’m all for creative, fun action sequences, but Argylle descends to such silly depths that it risks losing the audience. 

Howard and Rockwell have good chemistry, but all of the other actors (Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Cavill, DeBose) feel wasted. Samuel L. Jackson is delightful in his few scenes as a retired CIA operative turned winemaker, but doesn’t have much to work with. It’s a less serious role than he typically plays, which is a reminder that he can pull off multiple types of comedy. The shoddy CGI work and cheesy filming of the action sequences are a reminder that this film is destined for Apple TV+, though made by Universal Pictures and Apple Original Films as a collaboration. 

When Argylle was first publicized, there were wild theories in abundance that it was based on an unpublished book by a mystery author. Due entirely to the presence of a cat at the center of the marketing, some even theorized that Taylor Swift was the mastermind behind it. Others pointed towards already-famous authors potentially writing under new names, while some insisted it was indeed a writer new to the scene, but perhaps a nepo baby coasting their way to a film deal on their famous parent’s name. 

All of that theorizing turned out to be false, but also more interesting than the film itself. A scene at the end of the film, as well as one in the credits, suggests that Agent Argylle is a character we’re going to be finding out more about in future movies. They also cause us to question if the person we’ve been led to believe is Agent Argylle actually is or not. There are two sequels already being planned, with Vaughn giving hints of connecting his Kingsman movies with this universe in the future. Perhaps in future movies, Vaughn and Fuchs will be able to find the right tone for Elly Conway’s adventures. Her first array on the silver screen was as disappointing as the trailer promised, even before we all grew to dread it because we’d seen it dozens of times. 

Grade: C-

Universal Pictures and Apple Original Films will release Argylle in theaters on Friday, February 2.