Jeff Beachnau

Jeff Beachnau

In a world where viewers are lost and confused, one man can show them the way. Jeff Beachnau is the symbol the moviegoers have been waiting for. With sarcastic wit and deadpan humor, if you weren't aware he's always joking you'd think he was a dick. When not watching movies or catching up on 1980s sitcoms he hasn't seen yet, Jeff likes to ride his bike, go to the beach, and protect the people from the forces of evil. And, when he's got the time, he works as a grip (to the extreme).
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Dirty Love’ and ‘Crash’ (2005)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Dirty Love’ and ‘Crash’ (2005)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Dirty Love’ and ‘Crash’ (2005)

You know when someone smells the rotten milk and says "Oh god, this is horrible, smell this." And then you… Read More

March 28, 2025
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Catwoman’ and ‘Million Dollar Baby’ (2004)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Catwoman’ and ‘Million Dollar Baby’ (2004)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Catwoman’ and ‘Million Dollar Baby’ (2004)

“If you like this movie like i do, your rolling on the floor. Every second is purely genius. If you… Read More

July 22, 2024
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture: ‘Gigli’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’ (2003)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture: ‘Gigli’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’ (2003)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture: ‘Gigli’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’ (2003)

“The first ten minutes weren't so bad but then I realized I was in "Finding Nemo". When I made my… Read More

January 30, 2024
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Swept Away’ and ‘Chicago’ (2002)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Swept Away’ and ‘Chicago’ (2002)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – ‘Swept Away’ and ‘Chicago’ (2002)

“More than any other example in recent memory, Chicago shows how much the element of surprise is missing from today's… Read More

February 28, 2021
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Freddy Got Fingered and A Beautiful Mind (2001)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Freddy Got Fingered and A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Freddy Got Fingered and A Beautiful Mind (2001)

“This film not only left me with an incredible sense of dread for the 80 minutes of my life wasted… Read More

February 22, 2021
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Battlefield Earth and Gladiator (2000)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Battlefield Earth and Gladiator (2000)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Battlefield Earth and Gladiator (2000)

“After returning the video I honestly asked the clerk that even when I'm very drunk to stop me from renting… Read More

August 7, 2020
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Wild Wild West and American Beauty (1999)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Wild Wild West and American Beauty (1999)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Wild Wild West and American Beauty (1999)

“My biggest regret in seeing this film is that wish I could have warned you earlier not to see it.… Read More

August 3, 2020
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn and Shakespeare in Love (1998)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn and Shakespeare in Love (1998)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn and Shakespeare in Love (1998)

“In short, "Burn Hollywood Burn" represents just about everything that can possibly be bad about a movie. It should be… Read More

July 31, 2020
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Postman and Titanic (1997)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Postman and Titanic (1997)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Postman and Titanic (1997)

“I'm sure postal workers like it though, as it gives their job a very flattering impression of being important. But… Read More

December 6, 2019
Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Striptease and The English Patient (1996)Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Striptease and The English Patient (1996)

Retrospective: Worst Picture/Best Picture – Striptease and The English Patient (1996)

Striptease - “However the entire thing ended up being a mess, and I can only hope I can erase the… Read More

November 26, 2019
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