‘Red One’ Review: The North Pole Has Fallen For Johnny Storm and The Rock

If you ever wished that Air Force One (1997) and Olympus Has Fallen (2013) took place in a world where supernatural folklore figures existed and were more important than the President, but instead of a lone action hero, there was an odd couple doling out the blows to the bad guys with some irreverent holiday cheer less graphic than and without the body count of Violent Night (2022), then Red One is for you. 

Nick, aka Saint Nicholas of Myra, Santa Claus, code name Red One (a jacked J.K. Simmons), gets kidnapped on Christmas Eve. Director Zoe Harlow (Lucy Liu) pairs up mercenary tracker Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans), who would steal candy from a baby, with Commander Callum “Cal” Drift (Dwayne Johnson), Santa’s right-hand man, to save Christmas and locate the culprit.

Enjoying Johnson’s movie schtick is key, and if you are a fan, he has not been in a movie all year so here is your chance. If you are not, the affable Johnson is not exactly the Meryl Streep of former actors-turned-wrestlers, so consider yourself warned. As the earnest Cal, he only smiles occasionally and is usually dead serious and dedicated to his job, but he is a bit disillusioned as the naughty list gets longer, and he can no longer see the child that these horrid adults once were.

Jack is a dissolute, no-good man who is a neglectful dad, gambler and agent of chaos, but he is clever and a good fighter. This brush with the magical world of secular faith is a chance at redemption for Jack so he can fight for a cause bigger than himself and maybe stir up those dormant paternal instincts. Evans’ cameo in Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) was not a fluke. Evans is in his foul mouthed, thick accent era playing guys who talk big and can whoop ass to a certain degree but finds himself in over his head when he attracts the attention of people like Cal who have the discipline of an elite fighting force and powers beyond mere mortals. Jack is an audience surrogate who gets introduced to this secret world, which is the excuse for prose dumping in the dialogue to orient Jack and us about the logistics of this secret underground world.

Half the fun of Red One is the gimmick of logistics: which international organizations govern this world, who are the lead legendary suspects that may have a grudge against Nick, how does the North Pole work, etc. Since Johnson’s foray into the DC Extended Universe fell flat with Black Adam (2022), he may have another chance at helming another franchise. (The constant references to Wonder Woman may not be an accident.) If this film does well, it will reflect moviegoers’ hunger for updating Nordic myths. Of course, for people with academic levels of knowledge of these mythical creatures, Red One is an abomination as it transforms centuries old figures into oversimplified live action comic book fare. Game of Thrones’ Kristofer Hivju, who played Tormund who had a crush on Brienne, plays the horned humanoid Krampus as Nick’s estranged hard partying adopted brother who got obsessed with punishing bad people and rides a black metal, fire belching sleigh that emits a sound reminiscent to Hooked on a Feeling. Krampus had a relationship with shapeshifting witch, Gryla (Kiernan Shipka), who shares a similar glee for making the world a better place in the harshest way possible and starts off looking as if she could anchor Fox News with as much warmth and kindness.

Without the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there may not be a visual vocabulary to bring this fantastical world into the twenty-first century. The reindeers’ run triggers a Bifrost like phenomenon that could also be an allusion to starships breaking the sound barrier and traveling at the speed of light from such sci-fi franchises as Star Wars or Star Trek. Some of Cal’s gadgets seem as if they were purloined from Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne’s lab. Even Wakanda seems to inspire the North Pole’s mixture of a futuristic metropolis combined with the traditional, humble touches of the delightful denizens of Wonka (2023) were forced to live in a specific location in 2024. It is derivative, and the CGI can be shaky, but if a snowman hurling snowflakes like shuriken does not bring a smile to your face, Red One is not the movie for you.

Simmons is the real anchor that grounds Red One in reality. His take on Santa is an athletic zaddy who genuinely gets a kick out of his job, has the bonhomie ease of a provincial, benevolent mayor and struts around without being full of himself. Every time he is on screen, the movie feels sincere. Nick is the kind of guy who would have teams of elite fighters devoted to him and choked up at his every appearance. Bonnie Hunt as Mrs. Claus is the perfect partner who makes sure that he gets enough reps in at the home gym and calories with cookies. It also makes sense that he is full of good cheer since people like Cal and Zoe get to be the heavies. Simmons makes it easy to ignore the propaganda that working every day, having no life outside of your colleagues, showing muted emotion and constantly grinding are admirable qualities.

The bad news is that Red One is longer than it needs to be. A run time of two hours three minutes is excessive whereas a ninety-minute movie would be punchier. Reduce the length of some chase scenes. Leave out a few details at the ending when discovering Santa’s location. Maybe the Krull-esque shapeshifting storyline could be curtailed since it raises too many questions too late in the film. Director Jake Kasdan, who usually works in television series like The Grinder, but worked with Johnson before in the last two installments of the Jumanji franchise, is deft at making a dynamic movie, but there is nothing wrong with backing that camera up a little more and occasionally staying still. The green screen gives itself away on occasion, and one scene with Nick Kroll should have felt like demonic possession but was closer to alien shenanigans from Men in Black (1997).

Writer Chris Morgan partnered with story man Hiram Garcia, who gets his first feature writing credit and worked with Johnson as a producer and writer on the television series Young Rock and producer on many of Morgan’s most notable writing gigs. Morgan is best known for writing the third through eighth of ten (soon to be eleven) Fast and Furious flicks and the spinoff Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019). Red One is better than Morgan’s take on an eighteenth century Japanese historical incident, 47 Ronin (2013), which was only redeemed by having Keanu Reeves at the helm. With The Vatican Tapes (2015), he mainly rehashed tired demon possession tropes but ended strong with a twist. It is a welcome development that Morgan has become more consistent in his remixing of movie staples commercial endeavors, but failed to surpass his resumé zenith, Wanted (2008).

Red One won’t win any Oscars and is not the place to go for originality, but it is a dumb, entertaining, fun holiday movie for action lovers who want to give their mind a break. Trust your instincts-if the bit sounds like a nightmare to you, run the other way, but if you like your traditional Christmas hits wrapped with an impudent bow, check it out.

Grade: C+

Red One is now in theaters from Amazon MGM.